Hope For You

Sometimes

It question me 

''Am i a burden to you?''

Why this heart keep telling me this?

I know it shouldn't but,

deep inside it, still...

Sometimes

I feel like 

hiding somewhere else.

I don't want to find you and hoping you to find me.

But, that's seem impossible..

right?

Sometimes 

I wish

I wish and really wish.

That you will find me even once.

Just a call or even a text saying ''how are you?''

I wonder if you know that,

you're my inspired to continue studying this hard.

And this instinct to find you,

to tell you that I really need some words form you

that's why 

I always ended up as

 ''THE ONE WHO IS LOOKING FOR YOU''

but all of this seems like a burden to you.

Though I never ask even once,

It feels all.

Missing  You,

The Heart             

2 More Weeks

Mixed Feelings

Started my day with headache.

Last night, i was having a blast dinner with all my tuition mates & teacher

Just to celebrate our 

2 MORE WEEKS

to SPM (I think it popped up into my mind every day). 

Accidentally, i was having a battle with rain last night, plus I'm too tired

with all the graduation photo shoots

so after i got home directly went to sleep without bathing.

Guess what?

When I woke up this morning,

A GRAND CANYON suddenly growth on my head.

Well that's not the point I want to talk about by the way.

Here it is.

I called him just now.

It's him, who else right? ;D

So many things to tell but just part of our conversation through the phone.

He showed some 

''not his character''

such as

-talking sweet words 

(such as you know it) haha

-a little bit not shy

(wanted me to call him abang) XD

Okay enough. Other than that,

let it just be between us...

Did I need to tell you the main theme of the story?

I'M HAPPY <----the theme =DDDD

So today,

 I woke up with sad face

&

I sleep with happy face 

Thanks to that someone :)

Its true what people said,

''If we were sad, that's mean something happy is coming & vice versa''

Love you abang 

(these phrases really make my heart burst man) ;D haha.

Missing you,

THE HEART

I hate this new year

Its been a long time

since that day...

I'm still waiting for the right moment to tell him.. but the thing is, I couldn't..

Knowing the fact that I won't hear anything from him anymore, like i'm drowning deeply in the ocean..

Hope no one can find me.. 

That day, i just want to meet him..

Not knowing that this will happen to me, i think its better if i din't find him right?

He told me that he was busy that day, but i thought it was just for a while that i can bother him for a moment.. It was on Christmas, so I've planned on going to his house.. 

So, i call him..

Then he picked up.. I ask him if i can come to his place..

Then he told me that he was busy that time..

But i thought he was just lying to me cause he's scared of his family..

And i thought there was a Christmas party at his house..

So, i told him that i'm near to your place now...

Just to make him surprised..

Yes i'm near his place at that time, but not to visit his house..

I'm just at my Bestfriend house near his house..

Not knowing that he's really busy at that time.

He really pissed off..

He called me but my phone was on silent mode.

When i realize there is 3 missed call..

I want to call him, but before that,

He text me first.

The only thing that i do when i read it was crying..

Only god knows how guilty that i feel for him that time...

I wasn't doing it on purpose of making him angry..

I'm just so surprised with his wordings.

Why he din't tell me that he's busy with his brother's wedding 

until i found out myself??

Why he din't give me chance to explain everything??

Till now, it's been one month..

When i text him he just ignored me..

When i call him he never picked up once..

When i wish a happy new year on his profile he just don't even care..

When i text him in Facebook while he's available, he suddenly log out..

Thats why i hate this new year.. ='(

20.11.2011

BUSRT OF HAPPINESS

Waaaaaaaaa!! Not realizing it, tears fall from my eyes..

Just by that 3 WORDS that he sent to me through SMS...

''I miss You'' 

I'm so mad! Am i? haha.. XD no.. I was happy because today is the day this misunderstanding ends just with those 3 words! How??

Before He's up with his Big Examination (STPM) SIJIL TINGGI PENILAIAN MENENGAH in my country Malaysia it was for 19 years old.. =) I've plan something to wish him a Good Luck before it..

So It's like this..

Actually i was planning to wish him 6 WORDS starts from 16th November 2011 until 21st November  2011 on his Facebook's wall and I'm planning to post it day by day..

WISH (16th November)

YOU (17th November)

THE (18th November)

BEST (19th November)

OF (20th November)

LUCK (21st November)

 

But, this sweet plan ends up with something unpredictable which is on the 17th November He saw the words that i post on his wall and DELETE IT.. why?? Because he thought i was saying

''YOU WISH''.. because the words arranged invertedly on his wall.. As you know, the post that we post  on facebook wall will be like this..

YOU (Today)

WISH(Yesterday)

Upside-down right?? HAHA XD

So.. when i realised it.. did you know how much awry that i feel?

It's my fault.. But, its funny isn't it?? XD

Finally, he's the one that ended up by saying ''Sorry k''

I'm soooo.. Falling for him! XD

Thanks Dear,

FOR MAKING MY LIFE SMILE AGAIN..

FOR BLOWING OFF THE SADNESS IN MY HEART..

FOR EXIST IN MY LIFE..

Missing You,

THE HEART

What it's trying to tell me???

What is it? Is it something important? Is it Love? Problems? Or... what could it be? Most Importantly, Its related to someone i guess... or... Is it involve many people??

I miss them .. That's It! I'm totally sure about it!

I miss them... Who always made a place in my memories.. although it was not as prettier as you thought it would be..

I miss my cousins at Russia.. I miss Him that probably trying his best to study... I miss my grandma... Although it was bored but.. I guess i miss my Daily routine also.. Studying.. My naughty friends.... My NEVER SILENT CLASSROOM ''4 ALFA''.. my teachers.... 

My UNFORGETABLE MEMORIES AT LEO YOUTH CAMP 2011.. The games... New friends i meet there.. The lions.. Planting.. Morning warm-up.. The drama as ''SCARY TEACHER''.. '' ''GAY-ISH''SHOWS'' <---- The thing that i still remember till now..shhsssss... They'll be angry at me. seriously.. :P 

I think my heart trying to tell me.. That i miss those memory.. ^^