I hate this new year

Its been a long time

since that day...

I'm still waiting for the right moment to tell him.. but the thing is, I couldn't..

Knowing the fact that I won't hear anything from him anymore, like i'm drowning deeply in the ocean..

Hope no one can find me.. 

That day, i just want to meet him..

Not knowing that this will happen to me, i think its better if i din't find him right?

He told me that he was busy that day, but i thought it was just for a while that i can bother him for a moment.. It was on Christmas, so I've planned on going to his house.. 

So, i call him..

Then he picked up.. I ask him if i can come to his place..

Then he told me that he was busy that time..

But i thought he was just lying to me cause he's scared of his family..

And i thought there was a Christmas party at his house..

So, i told him that i'm near to your place now...

Just to make him surprised..

Yes i'm near his place at that time, but not to visit his house..

I'm just at my Bestfriend house near his house..

Not knowing that he's really busy at that time.

He really pissed off..

He called me but my phone was on silent mode.

When i realize there is 3 missed call..

I want to call him, but before that,

He text me first.

The only thing that i do when i read it was crying..

Only god knows how guilty that i feel for him that time...

I wasn't doing it on purpose of making him angry..

I'm just so surprised with his wordings.

Why he din't tell me that he's busy with his brother's wedding 

until i found out myself??

Why he din't give me chance to explain everything??

Till now, it's been one month..

When i text him he just ignored me..

When i call him he never picked up once..

When i wish a happy new year on his profile he just don't even care..

When i text him in Facebook while he's available, he suddenly log out..

Thats why i hate this new year.. ='(